What to do

I don't know how to act or feel. I cant keep pretending that everything is ok. I cant do it anymore. I call him and we talk like nothing is different.

He has started invading my privacy now also. He has been demanding passwords for emails and personal items and he wants to know where I am every second of the day. I am loosing it. He joined facebook and added all my friends that I have made from my travel abroad experience. He is afraid that I am messing around behind his back. I have NEVER done anything behind his back and we are separated so there is not much that he could say about it anyway.

His family is involving themselves way too much in my business also and they are making him worried about our relationship. There is a picture on my facebook where I am leaning into a guy for a picture. His family is asking him all these questions like "you let her do that?" The guy in the picture is truly just my friend... Nothing there. And I'm not looking for anything right now.

Let me tell you that his family is SUPER Christian and they feel that women should not be friends with men unless there is a connection through the husband. I don't know if they know the true magnitude of what he has done. He says that he has told them everything but he is the master of deceit.

He did tell me that he started to watch porn the other night and felt bad and turned it off. I know that it has only been a month but I just want things to be better. I need them to be better.

I am having him up here within the next month so that I can talk to him face to face. I think that will be good for me. What do you think?

Am I IN love?

I have been doing a lot of thinking over the last few days. I don't know if I will be able to stay with Brian. I don't know if this is an initial reaction or if this will be forever but my love for him is fading. I still love him but I am not IN love with him.

I don't think that he is taking this separation seriously. He keeps telling me that it is JUST a break. I view this separation to be far more than a break.

The other day we got in a fight about everything. He told his whole family about the separation and now there is ever more judgement coming my way. His whole family has been commenting on my myspace about how they don't see a ring on my finger. They are also commenting about me being in pictures with guys. I don't understand how they are going to assume that these guys are my lovers now. I am in a foreign country making friends and when we go out in a group (a mix of both guys and girls) why it is not ok to take pictures with people of either sex without assumptions. I don't understand why it is any ones business either. I took my ring off because I am separated from my husband and for them to bring attention to that somewhere where it can be seen by all my friends and family is not ok by me.

Every single one of Brian's family feels that the separation is not needed and shouldn't have happened. My side of the family is happy that I made this decision. It seems that no matter what I do, someone will be unhappy(Not that I am aiming for their happiness in this situation).

I just hate that he is the one that has done something yet I get the judgement.

Introductions

My name is Susie Q and I will be blogging about the troubles that my marriage has faced. My husband and I have been married for two years but we had been Jr. High sweet hearts. Nothing could separate us. We were always in love there were just some complications.

I just found out that my husband has been looking at children. Not only is this the first step to perversion, but the children that he had been trying to pursue were my 13 years old sister and my 13 year old soon to be step sister. I am devastated and shocked that this could be happening. I don't know what to do. I have only know about this for about two weeks. To make things worse I am out of the country so I had to hear all of this over the phone from my husband, my father, and my soon to be step mother.

I will be posting more information on the next post.